Back from semester hiatus

As I was strolled through the beautiful yet quiet campus this morning, I reminisced on the year that just flew before me. I am sad that I had not spend the time to capture or shared these moments with my friends and family. Well I guess better late than never...here goes again..my attempt to revive my blog! =)

Deep Breath, Get Set, GO!

The start of the new semester was refreshing. I was energized and ready to go but by the end of the day, I was exhausted! Every bit of me was used up. Just figuring out schedule changes, being introduced to classes, figuring out requirements, listening to music itself was hard, then of course, marking my calender for midterms and finals! My first midterm is in 4 weeks! And the reading assignments for Thursday is already out! HELP! So, that will be the story of my life for the next 15 weeks. But, the oven is heating up and i'm all set to go!

The inauguration of OBAMA was AWESOME!

Train to ride

Over the holidays, Chris and I went around various stores in the city in search for the perfect game. Unfortunately they were all either typical, boring or lame. The winter season can be such a pain! After getting sick of bomber-man on his x-box and me kicking his ass on Tetris every time, we were in search of a game that was foreign to the both of us.

Finally, he told me he bought this game online and it was about building trains. I was like how can building trains be interesting? But after we played the first game, I didn't let him go back to his work! Train to Ride Europe is the coolest game ever. Got me totally hooked!

It's really simple, basically about collecting cards and building train stations but you need to plan ahead and choose your winning strategies well. You can block the route of other players and build stations to use the route of other players. Points are calculated at each step you move and the routes you manage to complete. Incompleted routes causes a deduction of points too. It's simple but challenging.

Great game that you should totally check out! You can even play it online at www.daysofwonder.com



Trust me, you'll love it!

CLO

An awesome wine bar Chris and I visited at Time Warner Center, NYC.

Finding true passion…

As the new year unfolded upon me, I spent time reflecting upon my life. I can’t help but feel fortunate for the past 21 years. The places I traveled, the experiences I had, and the friends along the way. Although I still have very vivid memories in my mind, I wish I kept a little book of those precious times.

As a young girl, I remember waking up every morning wanting to be a ballerina. I jumped at the opportunity to watch ballets and classes were like heaven. It just took my breath away. I spent the last few years of my life doing that but after I spend sometime dancing in Canada, I learn that was no longer what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It’s just that realization that kicks in one morning that you no longer love what you are doing. I know that many people get stuck and spent their lifetime settling for the cultural norm but I shall not settle for that.

And 2009, is a new journey for me. The journey for me to find what makes me jump up on my toes every morning. I know I am idealistic to believe that the work can be just that. I dedicate this year to finding my passion once again. And I invite you to join me on this journey. I know I am in the perfect place and position to discover that, the wonders of New York City and the expansive opportunity and rigor of Columbia.

Happy New 2009!!!

Les Ballet Trockadero De Monte Carlo

I had so much fun watching the Trockadero's with my mom n Chris. Although I ended up being really sick, probably from laughing too hard. It was the most hilarious performance I have ever watched. A total must see for every dancer!



FYI, they are an all male dancer company that performs like a full company. Yes, on pointes and everything. It was ridiculously good. They mastered the female techniques of classical ballet and poked fun into female dancer habits. The humor was from both the choreography as well as the execution of the moves. I figured I could not possibly put in words the hilariousness of it. So, here are a few videos from Joyce Theatre. The first video being swan lake. Yes, they performed both Odile and Odette variations including the pas de deux!!! And the second video is of dying swan. My super favorite. Look at the arms. Gorgeous! An excellent performance, I would highly recommend.

1st Semester @ Columbia

I got thru my first semester!!! yay!!! (applause please!) finished finals!!!hope i did ok.. It was the hardest semester of my life...I remember the first week of orientation they warned us how difficult life would be here...n it sure has been..but i also had heaps of fun!=) I am sad that I have not kept memories of my days @ Columbia and will definitely keep updates of happenings next semester. There's just been so much going on..but it's been awesome!

back to the most awesome place ever...

Finally back in NYC....

it's better than ever before..in fact..it's been pretty damn awesome...=)

My extended break in Ipoh has been exciting...in that 4 & a half months...i've been able to spend extended time with family..spend some time with my closest friends..did some performances...performed hopefully not for the last time with my 2 best buddies..yifang n jessica...did a 2 person drama..which i was so skeptical about at first but enjoyed it so much after...i'm definitely going to miss that little town but i'm so excited about what lies ahead...=)

Song from Chris

Everything is finally falling into place..

So much has happened over the past few months that i don't even know how to explain the situation. Okay, so here goes..

I spend an awesome New Years to start the year off with Chris!=)

I hate the bitter cold winter in Montreal...

I slipped in the snow...n there went my ankle...2 partially torn ligaments currently being treated...

I continued dancing on it in preparation for the Mexico tour.

I got deported from Mexico...

I was stranded in Miami...

Chris, my knight in shining armor came to the rescue...ok..don't puke..=P

I spent a few days in New York...

I returned to Montreal to speak to my artistic director and packed my things to head home...

I returned home to Ipoh...loving the company of my family and my little Mo.

The first few days I was back..i got assigned ballet classes to teach...so much for a holiday

I got my acceptance letter to Columbia...I was over the moon!=)

I currently have my ankle wrapped up and it feels awful having to limp around...

I can't wait to dance again..

I will be going back to NY soon...=) yay!

Fallen in love with Jacqueline Appel's pretty apartment...

So, it's a bitter cold Saturday afternoon and I was just lazing around at home with my TV playing the ONLY english channel and I just fell in love with this apartment featured on Home & Home. So beautiful...she was an ex ballerina now a designer...it's so beautiful..i love it!




I am a very boring person when it comes to designs. I used to only love the olden british designs you see in old castles. This is totally a new something for me. Totally fell in love with it. Never imagined pretty any prettier...Totally loved it!

Celebration of love...

on this special day...couples normally have a time of their life...it's really nice to celebrate this day with that special other...on the other hand...u see those whom r single moan about getting thru this day..like it's rubbing it in ur face that u r single, lonely and perhaps miserable...it is indeed a very special day..but we normally forget the essense of the day which is suppose to be a celebration of love...this year...i would like to dedicate this special day to everyone whom has touched my life...to all my dearest friends whom r scattered everywhere..my best buddies...my friends from high school..from city ballet..from past productions...from italy....from college...from Ny...from Joffrey...n new made friends from Montreal..know that despite my absent mindedness...i think of u all very often n treasure the moments we spend together...to all past n present teachers...i am thankful for all that u have taught me despite me trying to outsmart u..to my past students...despite me shouting at u all the time know that i care....my family...my dad...my mom...my dearest grandparents..n especially my two brothers..thank you for all the support and love u have given me all these years...i miss u all so much...my ex boyfriend's...know that despite all the hurt,i still cherish the times we had together...n most importantly..to the special person i will be spending this special weekend with...Chris..thank you for inspiring me each n everyday...n lastly...to God n all those who were a part of bringing me back closer to him..especially Sister Claire n Sister Andrea...thank you for faith..i miss u all dearly..thank you all for your love and being a part of my life...without which life would be meaningless...

Happy Valentine's Day..May you all be showered with lots of love on this day and for every single day ahead..

Love package from Malaysia

I came home exhausted from another depressing day at the doctors and awaiting yet another appointment with my physio and x ray, CT & Echographic scans to be done on my foot. A brown box placed nicely right outside my room door. The handwriting of my mom printed clearly on the box. Tears just welled up in my eyes. I struggled to open it and felt weak for a few moments...inside...there was my favourite shoes, some leotards, a very pretty zip chain from my mother n most importantly...2 copies of the book i was awaiting for ever so long... "Dare to Dance"...the 25th anniversary book of city ballet..the book was very meaningful..every picture brought back a memory...i really can't express how beautiful the times were at City Ballet...the laughter we shared...i had a time of my life...these r some pictures i happen to have on my laptop of the times i shared with some of the greatest dancers n friends in the world...we had so many fun times i wish i could relive them...



Picture of the lovely studio at City Ballet, that is one of the most beautiful studio's i've danced in..



My best friends, Yi Fang n Jessica, my mother & I...Advance 2 class of 2003..if memory serves me right..but we spend almost the whole 15 years of our life together..i love u guys..



Me attempting to play the Alice's Violin at the Coppelia show...=P



School trip to TDS competition..=)



Our shoes...few days before I set off on my adventure to NY and said good bye to that beautiful place I spend most of my life...

God sent...

The past few weeks, I was going thru an awful time with my company and dancing. I injured my ankle and was waiting for an X ray to be done. I was miserable not being able to do any jumps or pointe work, which were highlights of my ballet classes. Worst, I was dropped from the Quebec performance because of my injury. Everyday I was crying inside. I felt like quitting and that I couldn't do it yet another day. I was really miserable.

In times of trouble, I run desperately to God for answers.I always asked God if you love me why do you give me so much pain? Why must you put me thru this sufferings? Why don't you answer my prayers?

Today, as I went to church, I found so much comfort in the gospel and the homily by Monsignor Coyle. It was definitely God sent.

THE EIGHT BEATITUDES OF JESUS


"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Gospel of Matthew 5:3-10

I have been blinded by this world of selfishness and greed. Never was I thankful for the blessings and talent given forth to me instead I kept dwelling on my misfortunes. I always insisted on taking charge of my life and insisted on life going exactly like how I planned. When I prayed I always said, God I really want this, please give it to me. I never opened doors for God to work in my life. The priest ended the homily with the prayer of St Francis.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

So my day turned from a really awful start as the company left for Quebec today to a sense of peacefulness words cannot even explain. And guess what?/ The Giants won the SUPERBOWL! Nothing is impossible really, we just have to have faith! =)

Love...

Love is patient and kind;
Love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude.

Love does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong,
but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Obsession with pretty ballet feet!

I always read articles of how girls love shoes and have a whole wardrobe full of shoes with different colors to match different outfits. Clearly, I'm not one of them & totally don't understand. It just occured to me today, that I am not much different. Just not street shoes but with ballet shoes. Good fit to the right shoe enhances your foot line. Of course, you need to be lucky to be either born with really good feet or worked then hard over the years. I was not so lucky to be born with good feet, but my obsession with making my feet look beautiful when i was younger got me strong feet that I am proud of today.=) The initial motivation was to have feet strong enough so i could get up on "pointe" (stand on your toes)and then, there is the hassle of breaking into your shoes, getting the shoe which gives you the best fit and makes your feet look stunning gorgeous. Well, that is the ultimate aim of course. I have tried possibly every single brand of pointe shoes over the last 8 years of my life. And yes, i have found the perfect shoe! Grishkho Maya 1, with the beautiful V line in the front of the shoe to give the feet a lengthened line. I love them! I got my first pair when I was in Australia for a 100 Australian dollars. I remember, when I saw my feet in it, I stood there for over half an hour just starring at my feet and when I finally decided to buy it, the guy said, I knew you wouldn't leave the shop without getting it, they look really good on your feet. And that's right, they did, i just stood there admiring my feet. How lame is that? Ah well! I still love my Griskho shoes but I finally realized that it is way too expensive and I can no longer afford wearing them weekly.=( Yes, my shoes break very fast nowadays, with full-time dancing and if i am working a lot on pointes, my shoes die within the week then I attempt every way to rescue it and make it last longer. I just enquired at a shop, a pair now cost 120 canadian dollars with a 3 months wait. How about that? Argh! So I finally decided to settle for a cheaper alternative, Bloch's just so my parents don't go broke and after all, if I am a good dancer, I'll make any shoe work! So, these are my new bloch's, a bit too big for me because I got them a long time ago and my feet have shrunk over the year. It's not too bad, I'll make them work, at least for now.=)

New place to call home =)

Just about 2 weeks ago, I was at the point of breaking. I was about to pack my bags and leave. I was going to give up. How simply, 2 weeks and the world has turned around for me. I remember that day I was in tears when they said they didn't see me wanting it enough. Well, they were right! I was not hungry to dance! I would not die if I didn't dance! I always wanted to be normal and not an obsessed dancer! I refused to be labeled merely a dancer. I fought all my life to prove that I was worthy of more than that. Was I really?

Adapting to Montreal was not as easy as moving to New York. I loved New York and I chose it of all the places in the world. When I came here in March earlier this year. I knew, this was where I wanted to be. There was this sense of energy that drove me on. I was doing something I loved, I had teachers and friends that believed in me, there was always some really fun activity going on, many sources to draw inspiration from, I met the coolest people ever. It was practically a dream for me. Then, when I got the offer with Le Jeune Ballet. It was like a perfect opportunity. But it wasn't that simple, I couldn't fit in, new place, new language, new dance style, crazy weather. Threw me off. I was just lost. Everyday I was longing to be back in NY.

I was not embracing my life. I was not open to the new environment and the new opportunity. I just sat around holding on to memories. I was stagnant, not moving forward. I looked around and everyone was there for me. I realized, the change had to come from within, I had to want it enough, I had to plunge myself into that deep blue sea, it was what I wanted out of my life, no one else can make me want it. Of course, I prayed about it and decided I was going to give it my last shot. I gave every part of me in those last 2 weeks, and I am glad to say, I have not been happier =) Montreal feels like home now!

can't bare the long hours...help....

I finally get a break!!! 2 day break i've been dying for! I've been dancing 6 days a week..and classes go from 9-7...it's been crazy!ppl always ask me..so you must have improved a lot??..well, honestly, i'm not quite sure..i still feel lousy... being promoted to trainee A...makes me feel worst! dancing with all the best dancers..they r so freaking good...=( i don't know what they eat...or what they do...they r just SO GOOD! i keep questioning myself why i am torturing myself by doing this??....

i've been learning a lot...normal days start with ballet technique, then pointe class or variations class, then we have pas de duex or jazz or modern, then another technique class, or character and yoga to cool off...pretty good schedule...just so tiring tho..=( plus we now have acting class too..it was WAY FUN! i really enjoyed that!n dance history class will be during our lunch break on thursday which means...i no longer have a break the whole thursday..tha'ts insane! yes it is!..ohmigod...the thought itself keeps me frightened!

so yup..i'm still in new york and joffrey has been exciting and crazy at the same time...i love it on some days...and hate it on others...guess that's what makes life colourful huh?/...ah well...

guess what??..peter pucci came to watch us in class!!!!! and he is going to use us for his gala benefit on the 28th of october....i'm excited...but for nothing really...cause i will no longer be here...so..i won't be able to be a part of his performance..but the dance piece looked so exciting.....it had a little jazzy twist to it...ah..darn...=(ah well... there's always next time..=)

it is beginning to get chilly here...i guess this marks the end of the summer...aw well..i had a pretty awesome summer here...=)...oh..i'm so excited..there's gonna be an end of the summer party tomorrow night..it's gonna be fun fun fun! yippie!

I'm over the moon...going nuts!

i got into trainee A..unbelievable!=)

Feeling on top of the world

I got lottery tickets to watch WICKED!!! first row, directly in the center...INCREDIBLE! Feeling like the luckiest gal on earth right now..i was dying to watch WICKED for a long time already..but tickets were sold out like 3 months in advance...so, today classes started at Joffrey again..it was awesome! (gonna miss that place so much)...after a good class..i just kept smiling stupidly to myself...and skipping around upbeat..=) so i decided to stop at the 50th street subway station which i normally don't do...i always stop at Columbus circle...i came out and saw Gershwin theater right opposite...i looked at my clock..eh..it's 445...maybe i can try for tickets..so i went and put my name down on the sheet..i was like..nvm lar..i got nothing much to do after this also..already so happy..just give it a shot la..i guess in my heart..i wanted it very much too..but..i didn't want to get disappointed..but there were so many ppl..i didn't want to put my hopes high...n suddenly i heard the guy say..where's jacqueline thong...i was like what???..ohmigod..tha'ts me!!!(in my usual blur way lar!) i was so happy..u have no idea..i was beaming with joy..and the world was so perfect! the past few weeks, i've been feeling really down..aside my injury...many of my friends left new york...my best buddy aka secret roommate returned back to poland...i felt pretty helpless..everyone in new york was busy with their own life..and i used to be myself too..until i couldn't dance much..even when i did..i felt really depressed...half of me..just wanted to jump on the plane back...i prayed for guidance to stand strong thru this, to be motivated, n not to give up...i just wanted to enjoy my last month in New York! He really did!!! He made my day..exactly what i needed to start a new school year..i'm so motivated now...=) will update on wicked tomororw..i need to sleep now..but i'm so happy..i don't think i can sleep..hehe..today was an awesome day!