Obsession with pretty ballet feet!

I always read articles of how girls love shoes and have a whole wardrobe full of shoes with different colors to match different outfits. Clearly, I'm not one of them & totally don't understand. It just occured to me today, that I am not much different. Just not street shoes but with ballet shoes. Good fit to the right shoe enhances your foot line. Of course, you need to be lucky to be either born with really good feet or worked then hard over the years. I was not so lucky to be born with good feet, but my obsession with making my feet look beautiful when i was younger got me strong feet that I am proud of today.=) The initial motivation was to have feet strong enough so i could get up on "pointe" (stand on your toes)and then, there is the hassle of breaking into your shoes, getting the shoe which gives you the best fit and makes your feet look stunning gorgeous. Well, that is the ultimate aim of course. I have tried possibly every single brand of pointe shoes over the last 8 years of my life. And yes, i have found the perfect shoe! Grishkho Maya 1, with the beautiful V line in the front of the shoe to give the feet a lengthened line. I love them! I got my first pair when I was in Australia for a 100 Australian dollars. I remember, when I saw my feet in it, I stood there for over half an hour just starring at my feet and when I finally decided to buy it, the guy said, I knew you wouldn't leave the shop without getting it, they look really good on your feet. And that's right, they did, i just stood there admiring my feet. How lame is that? Ah well! I still love my Griskho shoes but I finally realized that it is way too expensive and I can no longer afford wearing them weekly.=( Yes, my shoes break very fast nowadays, with full-time dancing and if i am working a lot on pointes, my shoes die within the week then I attempt every way to rescue it and make it last longer. I just enquired at a shop, a pair now cost 120 canadian dollars with a 3 months wait. How about that? Argh! So I finally decided to settle for a cheaper alternative, Bloch's just so my parents don't go broke and after all, if I am a good dancer, I'll make any shoe work! So, these are my new bloch's, a bit too big for me because I got them a long time ago and my feet have shrunk over the year. It's not too bad, I'll make them work, at least for now.=)

New place to call home =)

Just about 2 weeks ago, I was at the point of breaking. I was about to pack my bags and leave. I was going to give up. How simply, 2 weeks and the world has turned around for me. I remember that day I was in tears when they said they didn't see me wanting it enough. Well, they were right! I was not hungry to dance! I would not die if I didn't dance! I always wanted to be normal and not an obsessed dancer! I refused to be labeled merely a dancer. I fought all my life to prove that I was worthy of more than that. Was I really?

Adapting to Montreal was not as easy as moving to New York. I loved New York and I chose it of all the places in the world. When I came here in March earlier this year. I knew, this was where I wanted to be. There was this sense of energy that drove me on. I was doing something I loved, I had teachers and friends that believed in me, there was always some really fun activity going on, many sources to draw inspiration from, I met the coolest people ever. It was practically a dream for me. Then, when I got the offer with Le Jeune Ballet. It was like a perfect opportunity. But it wasn't that simple, I couldn't fit in, new place, new language, new dance style, crazy weather. Threw me off. I was just lost. Everyday I was longing to be back in NY.

I was not embracing my life. I was not open to the new environment and the new opportunity. I just sat around holding on to memories. I was stagnant, not moving forward. I looked around and everyone was there for me. I realized, the change had to come from within, I had to want it enough, I had to plunge myself into that deep blue sea, it was what I wanted out of my life, no one else can make me want it. Of course, I prayed about it and decided I was going to give it my last shot. I gave every part of me in those last 2 weeks, and I am glad to say, I have not been happier =) Montreal feels like home now!